I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
