Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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