i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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