Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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