so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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