After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
