i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Help. Why am I so naked?
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