So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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