The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
