I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
