I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
