I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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