Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just threw up on my dentist

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(859): View more from Kentucky

While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.

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(913): View more from Kansas

he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.

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(813): View more from Florida

his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.

(407): View more from Florida

yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE

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