A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
