She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
