somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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