some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
