Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
