he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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