He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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