i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
