don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
