I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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