Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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