Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
