Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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