meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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