i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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