i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
