i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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