nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
