I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
