so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
