So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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