Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
