turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
then he tried to convert me to islam
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
