Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the day after is always just damage control
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
