I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
