he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
