He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
