She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
