some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
