evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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