I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
