New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
