I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
