i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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