I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
