All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
