I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
