Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize