THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
cat food counts as protein by the way
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
