i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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