What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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