i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm always down for nudity.
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