I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
