She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Randomize
