AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
