dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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