no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
