Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
