I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
