All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Who died my cat blue again?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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