Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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