I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize