Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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