Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize