So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
